Racial experience as a child - "Just as worse"

June 20 - Class writing Prompt

A racial experience as a child I proactively contributed to at the age of 11 or 12 occurred in Queens, New York. I didn’t experience racism so much since my community was black; I attended a black school, black church, and my friends were black. We didn’t see whites until we went to school, left our Queens neighborhood, mostly in Manhattan, or went to Virginia for the summertime. Whites made me circumspect when I was in their presence then, similar to how some whites feel about blacks in their presence.

As a black youth, we were taught how to code switch early. We didn’t behave the same way around our white school teacher as we did around our own folks. Although the neighborhood was black, we were not void of prejudices and discrimination. Discrimination divided us by country origin. We cared about if you were born in America or another country. As an American, my family would look down upon those who were not black Americans because we thought they looked down upon us.

My racial experience is about our newly moved-in neighbors; they were Haitian. I didn’t think I ever met someone that was Haitian before until that time. I was told stereotypes of Haitian people before by adults in my life. They were supposed to be stupid, acquired lots of jobs, and were bad dressers. I wasn’t concerned about the jobs and intelligence of my neighbors. However, what I could make fun of them was their dressing style. I continued those adult prejudices by judging my neighbor youth’s clothes and behavior. I thought they wore lots of mismatched colors that were considered “loud colors” in my family.
Now I realize they were wearing clothes unconcerned about the colors. Maybe in their country, money was hard to come by and they were happy to wear clothes not ragtag. We, my siblings and black friends, judged them based on our standards of dress, which was pure stupidity. We were not that far behind from being fashion misfits ourselves. I judged and criticized my Haitian neighbors because they were black and I was very proud of being black. In my immature thinking, I wanted my neighbors to fit in and not have others judge them negatively based upon their dress and later their skin color. It was all connected in my mind. Now, I realize how superficial I behaved. Who cares about the colors you wear? Often, I leave the house with whatever I throw on and don’t care what people think. I tell myself constantly that the way I dress doesn’t represent the salary I earn. I always think I’ll start dressing a little better in my 30s. I’m knocking on that age, but doubt I will care that much about clothes then either. I love shoes and purses more than clothes. Forgive my ignorance my neighbors, wherever you are

Black dolls and Hair

Writing Prompt

It made a difference for me to have black dolls since they reflected my skin color. A doll allows the child to image a life for this doll. I didn’t feel connected to a doll that didn’t look like me. Looking back, I could have played with a white doll. Some of my Barbie dolls were white. However, my Cabbage Patch Kid baby doll was black. There was no other option. I would take her outside of the house, imagine she was my baby, and I then would have never thought of myself with a white baby. That meant a different life I never imagined living. I loved that baby and having a certificate proved that she was my baby who I could dress up, fix her manageable hair, different from the Barbie hair, and carry her around. For the big doll babies, race color mattered. However, I wonder if my thoughts came from my mother as well. I doubt she would have disagreed if I decided to ask for a white Cabbage Patch doll. I don’t know. Knowing who she has aged to be, I doubt she would have cared. I cared more than her and still do for my children.

Concept of beauty relates to the video

My concept of beauty has changed as I altered my thinking of beauty in my own life. Yes, I too had permed or relaxed hair. Most black women have had their hair relaxed and still do. That style works for them. I wanted more than one style. I did the afro look, braids, short natural hair, and now dreadlocks or locks (dread is negative).

My styles have changed with my mood and maturity. I believe that I have matured into my locks. It took me awhile to decide on locking my hair because of stereotypes of locks. I still have to worry about those negative opinions from my extended family. My immediate family has longed accepted my concept of beauty and my journey to be at peace with hair and in turn my concept of beauty as related to the video.

Young girls will have to make a conscious effort to come to terms with their own beauty void of other’s opinions. It will happen or never happen in their lives. I hope young girls establish their own concept of beauty and consider themselves in that realm sooner before there is anymore pain or anguish over their looks and hair.

Assignment: Rewrite/revise or write a new piece that tells the story of a time in your life where you became aware of race, that tells of how you "learned" race--like the writing in Wright's "Ethics of Living Jim Crow," or where you saw your parents or family members interact with issues of race. Post to your INDIVIDUAL blog. (at least 300 words, but it can be longer if you'd like.)

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I am very aware of race. Throughout my childhood, mostly through the experiences of the adults, I have learned about racism. I remember when my mother was confronted by a police officer in "our" neighborhood since she was walking around a white neighborhood. She was only excercising but some white neighbors felt she didn't live in that area and called the police to question her whereabouts. My mother came home fuming and upset. Usually, my mother is a nice and docile person. She is a quiet woman, short and quiet. She took the dog out to walk one more time around the neighborhood. Before leaving for a second walk, she said that she is going to show people that she belongs in this neighborhood.



Another example of race is through conversations with my aunt about the workforce. She is a former administrator or assistant principal in a New York City school and now owes her own day care in Florida. She constantly reminded us about the struggles of being black, a woman, and working with racist whites in education and business. Her stories captivated us as we pondered what we would do in this situation. Today, I , at times, call her for advice about a situation related to race and the workforce.



Race as a child wasn't on the forefront of my life until I moved out of my all black neighborhood and school in New York City. I was comfortable and distanced from whites. They might have been my teachers but they weren't my neighbors.



I learned more about discrimination living in Florida, the South (not the real South though). I learned the divide of where you live and how people care about if you are in the white side or the black side. Blacks lived on the other side of the tracks. Some lived over the tracks, very few lived faraway from the tracks. We lived faraway from the railroad tracks. At the time we moved in we made the 2nd black family. It was classism as well. The other black family's bread winner had a degree, so did my mother.



What I didn't know then was that you are always perceived like you are stupid or invisible unless you speak up, or boast your intelligence at times. I was at one point quiet to the injustices because I didn't want to "cause a scene." I hated the mistreatment but couldn't stay in hatred mode for the rest of my life. I had to forgive and forget. Still today in "liberal" MA, almost every day, I am confronted by race.



RS

My Privileges

After reading White Privilege, post a list of 10 privileges that you enjoy onto your INDIVIDUAL BLOG.

Initially, I had difficulty with the assignment stating 10 privileges as a black woman. I could only generate about 3 related to my work. I asked about 2-3 friends for their assistance. We shared the same difficulty. However in class, Grace T mentioned that we didn't have to think only in racial lines.

1) Black women are perceived to be strong.
2) Black women are perceived as strong disciplinarians as teachers.
3) Black women are considered the stronghold of the black family and community.
4) As a woman, we can give a facade that we are weak and need assistance to lift heavy items. I have used this privilege many times.
5) Woman are perceived to be more compassionate and are emotional. We have the privilege of being sentimental and emotional publicly.
6) I have privilege due to my education which allows certain opportunities.
7) I have privilege in my job because of my standing and leadership positions.
8) I have privilege in my speech and words since I am not afraid of the politics of moving up in my school or Boston area. If I don't achieve success in a desired position, I will relocate easily anywhere else. I am not tied to Boston.
9) I have privilege in my association with men. A woman's charm is disalarming to men and also a lure to men.
10) I have privilege in my rights since I have an education.